Pauvre Esther

I really don't see how people go "ugggg... bell jar!" I think that (myself included) we can all be very whiny! But it is, to where I'm at, a good read. The story flows nicely and keeps you interested, not dozing off. Even though the beginning is a little strange- most authors do not try to attract their readers with electrocutions- I feel that it will turn out to be an interesting read. Something I was just thinking about, when we did our group discussions and while I was reading, almost every single stinkin book is written informally. Every narrarators talks to you as if they were sitting right there just chatting. Thats the beauty of these five books; someway or another, you'll connect to a character or a situation when you least expect it, and maybe you will see it in a different light or you'll walk away with an important message. I think that, even though we may not want to admit it, there was maybe one thing in each book that really stuck out for all of us, even the "bad" ones.
Well...... I think that Esther is somewhat similar to Holden. One, they're both psychos. Two, they either live or are in situations that people could only dream off, and yet they see beyond it. Holden is jsut afraid and doesn't appreciate what he has, but Esther is different. I feel bad for Esther; I think something happened to her, or set her off, that made her depressed. One quote says that " After nineteen years of running after good marks and prizes adn grants of one sort and another, I was letting up, slowing down, dropping clean out of the race" (29). Esther is giving up on her life, but why? She comes from a poor family and seems as though she worked soo hard to get into college and luckily won this contest; its like the perfect rags to riches story. But why give up now? She's on the right path, don't drop out! I believe something happened before she came to New York that set her into this new attitude and depression.
As I read this novel, I sometimes wonder about my cousin who had bipolar disorder; I wonder if he ever felt reall depressed like this. I wonder what people today go through when they're depressed like Esther. I just feel sooo bad, because sometimes they don't say anything and bad things happen when you don't ask for help. I hope Esther asks for help.